What was it like then?

 I find myself wandering through the corridors of memory, desperately trying to pinpoint the elusive moment when happiness last embraced my weary soul. It's as if joy has become an ethereal whisper, a distant melody fading into the recesses of time. The elusive nature of true happiness eludes me, leaving only the bitter taste of numbness.

In the labyrinth of emotions, I grapple with the echoes of forgotten laughter, searching for that elusive warmth that once painted my world in hues of contentment. The canvas of my existence, now daubed in shades of monotony, conceals the vibrant strokes of joy that have long evaded my grasp.

Emotions, like dormant embers, lie buried beneath the layers of life's debris, waiting for a gust of wind to reignite the flames. Yet, when they surface, they emerge not as the gentle glow of happiness but as the raging inferno of anger. It's as if every suppressed emotion, every stifled sigh, transforms into a blaze that consumes the fragile fragments of serenity.

I navigate the corridors of my mind, each step resonating with the hollow echoes of unanswered questions. What does happiness feel like, and how did I lose touch with its essence? Was it a gradual erosion, like the gentle erosion of cliffs battered by relentless waves, or did it vanish in a sudden eclipse, leaving me in the shadow of my own existence?

The numbness that wraps around me is a silent shroud, muffling the whispers of my once-vibrant emotions. It's a paradoxical armor, shielding me from the intensity of joy while rendering me defenseless against the onslaught of anger. I am a marionette of emotions, dancing to the erratic rhythm of buried feelings, a puppet whose strings are pulled by the invisible hands of a tumultuous past.

In the tapestry of my experiences, threads of happiness seem to have frayed and unraveled, leaving behind a mosaic of fragmented emotions. The mirror reflects a visage that struggles to recognize the contours of genuine joy, replaced by the stern lines etched by a relentless battle with inner turmoil.

I yearn to decipher the enigma of happiness, to unravel its elusive secrets and reacquaint myself with its embrace. Yet, the journey through the maze of emotions is a daunting one, fraught with the fear of confronting the dormant sentiments that lie in wait. The path to rediscovering happiness is obscured by the shadows of my own emotions, and I find myself hesitating at the threshold of self-discovery.